As leaders, we're often so focused on others that we forget that we need reenergizing, rejuvenating, and often times we need to just step back and cut ourselves some slack. That's where self-compassion comes in. Scientists have discovered that self-compassion really does make a difference. How do you process when things go wrong? Do you blame yourself? Beat yourself up? Have simply unreal expectations for your performance and abilities to the point where you'll never quite li

A lot has been said about the importance of speaking up to injustices, unfairness, unethical behavior, and more. In the current era of politics and the state of our nation in general, I think the "speaking up" movement has gained momentum...especially with #metoo issues. But speaking up isn't just about what goes on in the nation. When we apply the actions to our work lives, innate challenges arise. What if I speak up? Will it cost me my job? Will I be able to find another jo

Friday was International Women’s Day….and it gave many friends and I time to pause over the weekend and reflect on our experiences as women and with women. Yes, go ahead and poke a little fun at that phrase, as there is no way to really experience anything in a role other than that as a female, but you get where I’m going. A few of us gathered for a run on Sunday morning, mostly women but a few men sprinkled through our group that hung together for an hour. As we wound our wa

I've been reading and listening to a lot of Brene Brown as of late - whether the paperback Rising Strong that I've dog-eared the heck out of or my new Audible membership and learning how to bookmark those segments that just say WOW! What I love about her work is how personable she is when she speaks, and how spot on she is with her messaging. Having been a long term researcher, she is very keen on sharing what extensive studies have noted....and those parallel what we profess

I love the anticipation that comes with the holidays....vacations....time with the kids off school...the new year ahead. Maybe its the fresh scent of the cut Christmas tree in the living room, or the vision board I know I'll create for the 2019. And sometimes I wonder if its just the new start that comes with a new year. Yes, resolutions may come and go, but that newness always returns every year. The Dutch have a word for that special anticipation that comes with a big event

Dear Evan Hansen recently arrived in San Francisco and wow...just wow. Was fortunate to see it last night with friends and it was as good as I expected. Maybe better. Having listened to the soundtrack for the last year or so meant I was singing along (quietly) to a performance where I didn't really know the story line. Sure, the lyrics helped with my insights, but the real message was about a number of someones who, during the course of the two acts, emerged as souls feeling

Being vulnerable didn't come easy for me. I grew up in a world of judgment in ways that often felt harsh. Mean. Inconsiderate. In many ways it hardened me to be more sterile to those I didn't know, perhaps in a way to protect myself. It wasn't until I had a heart to heart with a true leader who embodied what I was seeking....missing. It helped me see that my desire to be safe was compromising my ability to connect with others. Its sad to say that my female role models weren't

We all face frustration. At work. In relationships. Behind the wheel. With our neighbors. Frustration is a way of life, but we don't always approach it the same way and the obstacles to overcome that are the source of our frustrations aren't always easy to discern. There have been many articles written, and research projects conducted, on the topic of frustration. Many equate frustration to anger, which doesn't need to be the case. I tend to see frustration differently. Wikpe

It's that holiday time of the year. This Thanksgiving week is one where children jump in cars and travel to see the grandparents, runners and non-runners don their shoes to take on the local Turkey Trot, and many climb into the hills for an early Christmas tree search. I always try to spend a little time around Thanksgiving for thoughtful introspection and reflection. Am I making decisions that are true to who I am? Am I standing in my truth? Am I telling those who mean a lot

I've always felt the phase, "laughter is the best medicine," was kind of dumb. But having visited hospital rooms of friends, I get it. Having been a middle school teacher (yes, there is a special place in heaven for me), I know the importance of finding laughter with students and the learning that comes with it, especially when said laughter is not at the expense of someone else. When we laugh, we relax. We take things a little lighter. We're less on edge. And when we laugh,

Knowingly or not, we make decisions based on perceived risk. And men and women process that perceived risk very differently. Ever think of applying for a job that might have been a stretch? If so, you might be able to relate to this in some way. Research shows that men are much more likely to apply for a position or role in leadership that is a stretch and believe they can figure it out if they get the job, whereas women need to feel they have a greater chance of succeeding i

I can remember the stress I felt as a third year principal and discovering I was pregnant....with twins, nonetheless. I was so worried that being a female leader with newborns would compromise my credibility and cost me my job. At one visit to my OB/GYN, I remember her saying, "You're pretty Type A. You need to get over that. You'll never have control again once those babies arrive in this world." And I figured, as a doctor who had been there before with other moms, she knew

for·give·ness ˌfərˈɡivnəs/ I've been thinking a lot about this word lately, although I must give a bit of credit where credit is due. Maria Shriver and her "The Sunday Paper" blog is a great thought provoker. Having spent some time at Holocaust Museums on both coasts here in the United States this spring, I had an opportunity to talk to two different survivors and both spoke on their healing process through forgiveness. Here are two individuals who had every reason in the wor

Are you a reflective leader? Reflection sometimes makes those around me laugh. Just yesterday I said to a colleague, "I was thinking about that conversation we had yesterday and had some further thoughts on what I had to say." For me, it was an opportunity to clarify a point that I had made that I didn't think I had done a good job of. I didn't want the other person to misinterpret what I had said because I realized there was another way to read my comment. Do you reflect lik

Ready for another great week? Years ago, I had a long talk with a great male mentor. We were talking about the dreaded work...intimidation. His comment to me was something like, "You need to be able to stand up for what you believe and for doing the good job others know you will do. Sometimes that work may get you into a little hot water, because you are strong and competent. Don't ever shirk who you are because you are afraid it will make others uncomfortable." He was right.

Here we go, team. It's Monday! Up and at 'em..... This week's theme is one that is uber important - know your worth. As public school leaders, I sometimes think we lose sight of our value, of our worth and what we bring to the table. Do we take the time to sit back, reflect, and practice self-care and gratitude to think about our contributions and what we did to advance the needs of students? Let's face it - we probably haven't. Similarly, as a female leader, I also struggle

Here we go, team. It's Monday! Up and at 'em..... This week's thoughts surround perspective, and it has been a common topic for many of my colleagues and I recently. How do we put ourselves in the place to best understand our staff, our teachers, our parents, our other constituents. Understanding the perspective of others really is a key leadership skill. Perspective is how we see the world and how we process what we encounter. For the most part, our past experiences impact h

What a wonderful week we have in store for us. Are you ready for it? Let’s start with a conversation about you. Do you know who you are? I mean….do you really know who you are and what you stand for? I say this respectfully because if you’ve had few challenges to overcome, you might not know where you draw the line in the sand, when you would kneel instead of stand, what you would be willing to protest when push came to shove. As my birthday approaches, I reflect on how my vi

Check out my latest blog post for the Biofreeze Berkeley Half Marathon - it's all about pacing and helping others with their goals! #assistantsuperintendent #dublinunified #asca #PortolaValley #LisaGonzalesSuperintendent #leadershipdevelopment #leadership #good #lisa #ACSA #knowledge #competent #positive #acsapresident

Alas…it’s Monday! Happy new week. This week’s theme is about mentoring, although I’ve affectionately referred to it throughout my year as ACSA President as – replacing myself. Each and every good leader should be looking in the rear view mirror. Who is out there behind us that we can mentor and bring along on our ride in leadership? Who do we see with potential, that person who needs a tap on the shoulder to say, “I see something in you” or even “You’re next in this role and