As leaders, we're often so focused on others that we forget that we need reenergizing, rejuvenating, and often times we need to just step back and cut ourselves some slack. That's where self-compassion comes in. Scientists have discovered that self-compassion really does make a difference. How do you process when things go wrong? Do you blame yourself? Beat yourself up? Have simply unreal expectations for your performance and abilities to the point where you'll never quite li

I believe in human kindness. I do. And I try to consciously act in a way that leaves the world a better place, one person at a time. And I model it for my daughters. Maybe its because so much of me wants to leave a better, more compassionate and supportive world for them. It might be because I've put my trust in humanity during very trying situations and humanity has cared for me and kept me safe. Maybe its because its the way to do right rather than be right. And then I pond

Funny thing.....as we get older, we either get so busy that we lose sight of who we are and what we stand for OR it has changed a few times. And for some of us, maybe its been more than just a few. Self-awareness is knowing about our beliefs, our character, our motives, and our desires. Self-awareness is important because when we have a better understanding of ourselves, we are able to experience ourselves as unique and separate individuals. We are then empowered to make chan

Albert Einstein has many great quotes that circulate LinkedIn and Facebook. One of my personal faves is: If you're a go getter, if your inner drive strives for more, if you've had challenges that keep you wondering, the difficulty that flows soon ebbs. But it helps us grow, it helps us learn, and most importantly it strengthens our resilience factor. The human spirit is one that speaks of perseverance and flexibility. Think about the times when you have been knocked down. The

It's pretty normal to try to do your best at all times - in work, in relationships, with your children, as a neighbor. But striving for the best can ebb and flow and then the ensuing stress about not being at your best in one realm can affect another. Think of the holiday that many had yesterday. A day off to you might mean a list of many items to do: - go for a run - do a couple of loads of laundry - stop by the pharmacy for a prescription - grocery shop - get the car washed

reaOne thing most of us have in common is that we all worry. Our work performance. Kids. Getting safely from point A to B. Finances. The economy. Being safe in our own our homes, in our communities, at shopping malls. The worries can become overwhelming and paralyzing. I remember when my twins were two and a half and one of them had a terrible fall in a parking lot. It came on the heels of a girlfriend dying of lung cancer. After a few weeks, I was paralyzed with fear and wor

Disclaimer: I don’t look as old as I am...but I am. I credit running for my youthful appearance, although genetics might have come into play. As a distance runner for the past 25 years, I’ve been at it for a while. For the last eight years, I’ve been a coach for Run365, the official training program for the San Francisco Marathon. That means years of training those in the over-40 and 50 crowd. What have I learned? It is never too late to start running! Clearly, you want to be

In this week's edition of "A Coffee Break of Inspirational Leadership," the focus is on learning to love your learning curves. Does like make you feel a little better than love? We can all learn to like taking on something new, or even doing something for the first time. Think yoga, boba tea, running a half marathon, taking on a new project with a huge learning curve, or meditating. The first time.....maybe your face scrunched up and you thought "Really? All this for that?" A

I believe in kindness. But there are days when the world doesn't seem so kind. Twenty four hours ago there was a senseless shooting in Gilroy, California - a mass shooting that feels like so many other shootings that, as of today, are happening at a rate of more than one a day. As the evening pressed on, many of my fellow Gilroy High School graduates messaged to process, always ending with how much we care about each other. It got me to wonder about kindness and caring. Can w

There aren’t many words that can bring a seasoned runner to her or his knee faster than the dreaded “C” word. Chafing. Just reading it makes me cringe. If you’re fortunate to have not dealt with it this far in your running career, congratulations. And if you drew the short stick, as I did last weekend, let me pain be your knowledge gain. Chafing is awful. It is painful, it can be difficult to treat, it is often in unmentionable areas, and it can get infected. Scared yet? Read

I am fortunate to coach a number of administrators, mostly females, around the nation. I do it because, along the way, many leaders took their time to do the same with me. What I've noticed is that so many leaders don't see themselves the way their colleagues do, the way I do. As a teacher, I watched how elementary students progressed into middle school and students lost their edge, especially girls. Gone was the "I can do it" outlook that was so prevalent in kindergarten. It

What does being brave really mean? I was recently reading a book that referenced the bravery of the character in the way she overcame adversity, how she didn't let others dim her sparkle, how she moved beyond feeling that she needed to be perfect and invincible. And it got me to thinking......how do you strengthen those skills? It's much like the question - how do you teach students about resiliency and grit? Reshma Saujani in the founder and CEO of the nonprofit Girls Who Co

Ever intentionally thought about happiness? Being happy at work, at home, in your community work? Its a topic I've worked through over the years, especially when I was a Superintendent and served in an area where we needed a little less stress and a little more happy. I led parents through an online study of happiness, via UC Berkeley's happiness project (more info below). The goal was to help parents bring more happiness and balance into their homes. Fast forward to life as

So much going on. So many distractions. And its Monday, which means we'll likely be bombarded by more today than most days. What does that quote make you think about? Maybe you can relate? I know I can. Keeping my mind in the present is likely as challenging for me as it is for many of you. The Buddhists call it "monkey mind" and I'm surprised I haven't heard that reference before. As a mom of teenage girls who are incredibly active, and being a school administrator with volu

I've been thinking about what I'm good at. Do you do that? From an HR perspective, we often look at firming up the weaknesses of others, rather than maximizing the strengths. And that's what got me to thinking about what I'm good at. I mean really good. Over the weekend I talked to a great friend who asked me about what I thought were my two greatest strengths and I had to think. And think. Share. Change my mind. Think again. I was exhausted, not because I thought I was great

We've all worked with them. Around them. Tried to avoid them. Some are really obvious. Others are a bit more underground, but their impact is the same. Obstructionists, often affectionately known as bottleneckers, are those who hold things up. They miss deadlines. They don't follow through. They talk a good talk, and then disappear. Or they show up, look you straight in the face, and make you second guess - did we really have that conversation? Was I clear? Yes, you were. And

Feeling foggy. Traffic at work. Sometimes they aren't just metaphors but real. We all get stuck. Really. WE ALL GET STUCK. And even those who look like they might have it all really might feel stuck. Sometimes we talk to others about it, and other times its the reason behind sleepless nights and wandering off mid-conversation or in the middle of a meeting. There is a comfort that can arise from being patient with ourselves and the situations we find ourselves in. And it's ok

This week's post is a little different than the rest, simply because I wanted to stay current with what I'm doing. I'll be presenting with a newer colleague in Ohio at the Ohio Superintendent Leadership Academy with the world-renowned Trish Rubin. A very special friend taught me an invaluable lesson about a year ago - there are no unintended conversations. Trish is living proof of that. Our paths crossed at the Women's Leadership Conference this past fall in Newport Beach. Sh

I'm not going to apologize in advance that I'm going to talk about women in leadership. It's part of my mantra, and I'm also learning to STOP apologizing. But I digress.... Over the last ten years or so since I started working to resurrect the Women's Leadership Network with the Association of California School Administrators (ACSA), the nation's largest administrative organization, I've learned a lot about leadership, women, challenges with women, lifting each other, and mor

I've been reading and listening to a lot of Brene Brown as of late - whether the paperback Rising Strong that I've dog-eared the heck out of or my new Audible membership and learning how to bookmark those segments that just say WOW! What I love about her work is how personable she is when she speaks, and how spot on she is with her messaging. Having been a long term researcher, she is very keen on sharing what extensive studies have noted....and those parallel what we profess